risks of flying
by Sambu
Summary: Complete! Harm craches in enemy teritory what will happen next?
1. Prologue

A/N: This story was collecting dust, I wrote it on paper when this idea just floated out on a sunny day. I'm now rewriting it on my computer and when I'm done translating (since the story is in Dutch) I will put it here. The story only misses an epilogue so don't worry this story will get an ending.

A/N2: The epilogue of my other story is coming up as well

Enjoy!

**Risks of flying – Chapter One**

In four generations Rabb pilots where never spared from an early death. Trish had hoped her son would break this 'curse' after he narrowly escaped death with his ramp strike and became a lawyer after that. But he was still in the navy and liked the action and danger. Harm did break the 'curse' but not in a way they liked. On Christmas Eve, exactly thirty years after Harm Sr. was shot down, two officers came to the door to tell Trish and Frank that their son was MIA and had likely perished. They were under heavy fire and crashed just across the border of Iran and, parachutes had been seen. Iran didn't allow salvage of the aircraft which they claimed had crashed into a deep lake.

Also with JAG the loss was great, it should have been a simple TDA but because off an outbreak of the flu on board of the carrier Harm had volunteered to fly some missions. They had lost most of their instruments due to an unknown location of aerial defense. On top of that they got caught in a storm; they only knew they were over Iranian territory when suddenly four MIG's appeared. With most of their instruments down and outnumbered they couldn't fight them off. Because of Harm's actions his wingman got out safely but his plane was hit by bullets and in an uncontrollable descent. A group of marines had tried to salvage the crew but the Iranian border guard was to strong. There were no parachutes observed and the US wasn't willing to risk a war over two presumably death pilots. Trying to solve it diplomatically didn't solve anything either.

At the request of the family there was a funeral a month later for both pilot and RIO. The attendance was enormous, most of them pilots. It was good to say goodbye even if their bodies weren't there. Harm had broken the 'curse' because he didn't have any children to follow into his footsteps and the lineage of Rabb had ended. For Trish it was the most sad, Harm had been here only child she never succeeded in having more children with Frank. It was an unlucky coincidence that led to the loss of two good men but life had to go on.

_**I really like to know what you think about this story so don't hesitate and review!!**_


	2. politics

A/N: The prologue was just to get a tast of the story, here is the first chapter. My chapters are mostly a bit short, i can try to make them longer if you wish but it would take more time and sometimes my inspiration won't allow it. Next two weeks i am on holiday so i don't know yet when i post the next chapter.

Enjoy the story and i love reviews!!

Risks of flying - CHAPTER 1 - Politics

In the months to follow there were numerous attempts to gain access to the downed plane but they were all fruitless. Six months later politicians had decided to stop the effort of getting the plane back because the Iranians weren't going to give in. In addition to that they had forbidden any actions against Iran in the hope of not antagonizing them and that the incident would eventually be forgotten. Of course not everyone agreed with that decision since they didn't want to leave men behind, alive or not. It was bad for morale and cruel to the families to have an empty grave and no clear explanation. So some people continued to look for possibilities to solve this dilemma quietly without anyone noticing. It would be slow going but that didn't really matter since all the other efforts had been fruitless anyway.

_Five years later_

Trish and Frank had come to terms with the loss of their son in their own way. Harm had been Frank's only son too even if it was not biologically. On holiday three years ago they met an eight year old girl who immediately had found a way into their hearths. She was an orphan and waiting to be adopted, after some consideration Trish and Frank decided to adopt her. She wouldn't compensate the loss of their son but the hoped to find joy in raising a child again and they also had a new dog. So it seemed they had moved on but they still hoped against the odds, the aircraft that was his final resting place had never been salvaged and was forgotten by many. Just like his father Harm was lost in the wilderness never to meet his homeland again.

In the mean time at JAG, business went on as usual but those who had known Harm best still remembered him. With the new agreement considering supervision of Iranian nuclear program there was new hope of reaching an agreement to salvage the aircraft. In the end Iran gave in, but they would salvage the aircraft themselves and only a limited number of US Navy personnel would be allowed to supervise and it had to be kept quiet from the press. Not thinking they would get a better proposal the US agreed. The aircraft had indeed fallen into a deep lake and the salvaging took an considerable amount of time but finally it came out of the water and released its secrets, it was all muddy but there were bullet holes all over and the canopy was cracked. There wasn't much left of the RIO after five years at the bottom of the lake, he must have died instantly but they couldn't be sure. What was the most intriguing was that the cracked canopy had likely malfunctioned and rendered the ejection seats useless. There was a large jarred hole in it and the straps on the pilot seat where cut, there was no pilot.

Had Harm survived the covering fire and the crash in the lake and fought his way out of the plane when it was sinking? There was no way to tell what had happened to him and apparently the Iranians didn't know either or they would never have allowed the salvage and let America know they had their pilot. To keep the Iranians on their good side it was kept quiet and hoped they would find out the fate of their missing pilot soon. But they knew that now the Iranians knew about him and if he was still alive he could be in even more danger because Iran would love to have an American prisoner.

A/N: Maybe i post another short chapter tomorrow but i think i will add some more to it and needs editing. Then it will be afther my two week holiday.


	3. homecomming

A/N: It took me a bit longer then expected because of the hot weather but i made some changes and reposted this chapter before finishing the next chapter. Thanks Laurie for your advise I found it very helpfull. Next chapter will be posted later today.

CHAPTER 2 - Homecoming

At JAG they got new hope and since it wasn't about salvaging bodies but retrieving someone who might be alive they got more support. But they couldn't do anything officially and the previous attempt to sneak into Iran had failed. And now it would most likely be even more difficult so they decided to try it another way. There was an Australian embassy in Teheran; a group of Australian officials would visit there soon. Instead of the officials a joint group of American and Australian marines went. All more or less looking like the local people so they would blend in easily among the Iranian people. It was a voluntary mission and almost nobody knew about it to keep it from leaking out. One of the men was the now lieutenant Galindez. It would be an asset that he knew Harm. They didn't have much to go on and they didn't want to raise attention so they had to be careful. They had some discussion about how to go on. "I know how he thinks, he is strong willed and will have found a way to survive." But a corporal didn't know for sure "if he survived and has a strong will he would have found a way to escape the country or let his family know where he was." But Victor had his own ideas about that. "It is impossible to get across the border without permission and you can't get into the capital without being seen. He will be somewhere on the countryside, probably with some locals, and await a good opportunity, we can give him that opportunity". One of the Australian lieutenants agreed with him "If we organize it efficiently and act quickly we might pull this off.".

Trish and Frank still didn't know anything about the recent developments, nobody wanted to give them hope and then find out he had died. They would only get to know if Harm was found alive and safely back in the US otherwise the story would be that he died in the crash like his RIO and nobody would be the wiser.

In the mean time in Iran, an ensign had come up with a good plan "we should start in the surrounding of the lake and see if there is any clue and then split up in groups and investigate further." Once they knew were the lake would be but still some distance away "we shouldn't get to close in case the Iranians will spot us and then we have lost our element of surprise." Victor said "he probably made friends with the Bedouins and stayed in the desert with them to escape notice, Iranians and Bedouins are just tolerating each other." A gunnery sergeant came up with how to best act now "we should split into two groups, two different directions and look for oases, there we are most likely to see Bedouins maybe they will help us find him." Victor had three man with him and had stumbled upon some fresh tracks when they followed them to a nearby oasis they heard loud noises and gun shots. "Maybe we are lucky and find the right tribe at first, but hearing the gunshots the Iranians may have had good intelligence" "if we are careful we can get closer if our man is there we have to interfere." They were just in time to witness the Iranians raiding a Bedouin encampment and killing everyone who didn't get away quick enough. It was hard to stay hidden in a dessert with only some small dunes to cover you and they had to whisper to not let the Iranians know about their presence. One of the ensigns made the observation "They have one man hold against the ground and he is definitely not from eastern descent." Victor confirmed then that it was indeed Harm they had found. "We still have the element of surprise, if we attack now we might win this before reinforcements might arrive." They acted quickly and overpowered the surprised Iranians. Harm instantly knew this was his chance to get out even more so when he saw who his rescuers were. "Gunny, what in the world are you doing here?" "Actually it is lieutenant now, sir. And we are on a secret mission to find you. Now we have to move quickly before reinforcements might arrive" "We don't have time to help these people? They are just innocent bystanders." "I'm afraid not sir, we won't be able to get out of here once we are spotted." "All right, but you owe me a better story then that when we are out of here." They went on their way when a young boy came running from one of the tents were he probably had been hiding and clinged to Harm's leg mumbling something that sounded like "don't leave me" Apparently Harm knew the kid and wanted him to come with them because he lifted him up to his back promising him he wouldn't be left alone. Then they quickly moved out of the area to meet up with the rest of their team and made their way back to Teheran.

Harm and the boy, Ashley, hid in one of the cars when the got back to the rural areas with decent roads, sometimes it was very close when they were stopped at a road block for a routine search but luckily they weren't found. And nobody noticed the fake ID's of the rest of the team. Eventually they came back to the Australian embassy safely, masquerading as merchants to get from the city onto embassy grounds without arousing suspicion. Harm seemed to have recovered from his then serious injuries, the Bedouins had taken good care of him. Now Harm could finally go back to the US and the good news could spread. At JAG they were happy to have their lost sheep back in the family. In the mean time Harm's parents had been informed about the events and Harm wanted to visit them first. When Trish and Frank saw the two officers on their doorstep they didn't know what to think but when they heard Harm had been found alive they had never been happier. They knew he had been found with a tribe of Bedouins in the Iranian dessert but they couldn't really believe until they saw for them self.

A Navy car brought Harm and Ashley to his parents' house. Having heard the car Trish came out to greet him. "It's hard to believe it is really you we thought we had lost you for good this time." Harm tries to joke about it. "You know me I never break a promise." Frank had now joined to and they each hugged each other to make sure it was really true and they were back together again. It was a very emotional homecoming and Harm having a jetlag was exhausted by it. They went to the living room for some drinks and talk but when it got to serious Harm soon put an end to it. "Sorry to brake it up but I'm exhausted from all the traveling and really need to have a good nights sleep in a comfortable bed in order to think coherently again." "Sure, your old room is al yours, there is a whole new day tomorrow." Nobody had taken notice about the young boy that had still clung to Harm's leg as if his life depended on it and had not left him out of sight since their camp was raided afraid he would be left alone. So he now slept in Harm's room, not accustomed to the luxury of a home but exhausted by the events and comforted by Harm's presence. In the mean time in the living room Frank and Trish were discussing. "Did you notice that little boy he had with him?" "Yes, I wonder were he came from?" "He did have some traces from being a Bedouin but I don't know why Harm would have brought him with him." "Maybe they have grown attached to each other and didn't want to say goodbye." "We will hear everything tomorrow, let's not guess about it. A lot can happen in five years" "You are certainly right about that, I wonder how he will take the news that he now has a new sister." "He always wanted one, even if he is a grown man know he will still love to have a little sister." "I hope so, let's clean up and then pick Natasha up from her sleepover" "All right"

It was in the morning when Harm had arrived and in the middle of the night he woke up because Ashley, the little boy, kept pulling at him. "Wake up. I'm hungry." "Okay, okay, I'm up already let's go find you some food." They went downstairs to the kitchen where of course nobody was in the middle of the night. Harm started explaining what everything was but he had hardly started when Ashley had already decided what he wanted to eat. "You can stop explaining I'm hunger, I want pancakes." "Quick learner you are, pancakes make good breakfast. Now watch how I am doing this." Fascinated Ashley watch how Harm tossed the pancakes in the air and the landed back in the pan. They had all kinds of different figures and lots of flavors. Having eaten enough Ashley was happy to leave the kitchen again wandering in to the living room with his large doors to the deck which were now closed of course. "Can we go outside?" "Of course we can, but only if you promise not to wander of without me." "Promise" Outside they met up with Nestor who hadn't met before but was a gentle dog and quickly became friend with everyone. Harm took Ashley and Nestor out to the beach, it was relatively light because of the full moon. He had decided to do some running to clear his thoughts and Ashley wanted to join him but his little legs couldn't carry him that fast. Harm had quickly found a solution with Nestor as the motor.

So when Trish came downstairs that morning there was no sign of them. She had already checked if Harm was still asleep, when she went to the veranda she saw him running on the beach, toddler and dog in tow. Frank came down as well and asked "Has Harm surfaced yet?" "Look over there, he is running on the beach with Nestor and the boy." They started preparing breakfast and they had just finished when Harm returned from his run. "Have you been awake long?" "Some time. Ashley here was hungry so I made some pancakes and then took him outside." "Had a nice run?" "Running always helps me to clear my head and if I don't tier this young man out he will never go back to bed." "Who is he?" "I will explain later, first I need I nice long shower, excuse me" Harm walked of to his bedroom wile Ashley stayed behind. Frank to Trish "I think he is avoiding to tell the story" "Maybe he wants to tell it to get it of him but doesn't want any bad memories to come back" "That could be the case yes"

While Harm was showering Natasha made her appearance as well. Not bothered by the age difference and the fact they had never met before she and Ashley went to play with each other, Ashley seemed to get out of his shell and not needing Harm's continuous attention anymore. Trish being curious decided to see if Ashley could tell her something, and what he told shocked her. When Harm came back it was clear as the light of day what he had meant.

A/N: Let me know what you think of the changes.


	4. remembering

A/N: I made some changes to the previous chapter. It's not really important for this chapter but might get confusing later on if you haven't. And again i like it when people give their opinion about what could be changedt to make the story better.

Enjoy reading!

Ch.3 - Remembering

When Harm came back from his shower it was obvious something had transpired in the meantime and Ashley seeking reassurance soon made know what it was. "Grammy doesn't believe me" "What did she say then?" "She asked if my parents were dead that I was with you. I told her you were my daddy and then acted all weird" "She just didn't expect you to say that it doesn't mean anything. Just look at us together and everyone will see you were right." "You sure?" "Of course I am, am I not Grammy?" This question was of course directed to Trish who was still a bit out of sorts but indeed clearly recognized her sons features in her grandson she hadn't even now she had. "Of course you are my grandson, you just took me by surprise." She answered to the youngster, who then went back to play reassured that everything was fine again and eager to explore all the new toys that were available here. "It's time to tell you what happened during those five years, before anymore surprises happen." "Let's sit down and have something to drink to be comfortable" When they were all provided Harm started his story.

_They had been hit by anti-aircraft artillery which hit their instrument and disabled radio and navigation. Without these instruments they were surprised by an upcoming storm and by trying to circumvent it came over Iranian territory. They didn't notice until four MIG's made their appearance while they themselves where with only two. They managed to escape from the missiles but where less lucky with the bullets coming their way. Harm's aircraft was riddled with bullets and became uncontrollable. The bullets hadn't hit anything fatal but his RIO was less fortunate. His wingman escaped when Harm's kamikaze like attempt demolished the last MIG. Because of the spray of bullets Harm hadn't used his ejection seat. Now locked in a dazzling rotating descent it was doubtful if it would do him any good. He had lost his wingman from sight and only saw a large lake in the middle of some trees and hoped it would make for a softer landing then the dessert surrounding it._

"Weren't you scared when you saw the land come at you at such a great speed?" "It's may sound like going trough hell but in fact I was so busy trying to keep the pale from going head down in the lake that I managed to stay completely calm without thinking about the possible risks" _The impact had partially crushed the aircraft but Harm had survived it and cutting the buckles saved himself trough the smashed canopy, swimming back up to the surface. He had waited in the cover of the surrounding bushes for the first to turn up, but it had been the Iranians probably looking for their comrades and he had made himself scarce, his injuries didn't allow him to be as stealthy and quick as he wished but the Iranians hadn't noticed him. He stumbled on a clan of Bedouins some distance away and they took him in and tended his injuries._

"The Bedouins where my saving grace, I wouldn't have made it very far without being spotted or to exhausted to carry on." "They just accepted you without blinking an eye about who you where or were you had come from?" "The Bedouin tribe I was with wasn't stupid, they knew I was an American and that the Iranians would look for me. They hated Iranians and always wanted to help if someone was injured." "Was that the reason you never attempted to get out of Iran and let us know you were still alive?" "If I had the opportunity I would have done so but that the Bedouins had accepted me in their midst was reason enough to stay. I took some time before I was even able to do anything on my own. Survival seemed most important at the moment and that meant staying with the tribe while the traveled around the desert." "I have always wondered but now I finally know" "Let's continue the story"

_It took Harm nearly six months to recover fully and hadn't found a way to get home safely. The Bedouins traveled around the dessert__, they were tolerated because nobody could live in the dessert but were despised by the Iranian people. They weren't allowed anywhere near the city's. Since the borders were watched closely Harm's only hope of getting hope was the capital, Teheran, but that was nearly as impossible to reach on his own. At home he was probably presumed dead and as long nobody came looking for him he wouldn't have a chance to escape notice and get out of Iran._

"But somebody managed to found out about it." "Yes, I could have known that at least one person still believed that I had survived and continued her efforts in finding out the truth. But that is a story for another time" _While Harm was living with the Bedouins he had fallen in love with the youngest daughter, since he was fully accepted they got married after some time. He had been living with the tribe for nearly two years when their son was born and he wanted him to have an American name and language as well so he was called Ashley Matthew Rabb. He had his mothers' curly hair and nose but besides his little Bedouin appearance he looked like his father. They were only allowed a short two years of happiness before the Iranians raided there encampment. It was soon apparent what they were after but reinforcements had suddenly emerged and Harm got his chance to go home. His son had been hiding in one of the tents and didn't want to be separated so he got to come along, they had no time to gather stuff or look for survivors because there could be Iranian reinforcement on the way._

"And now my son is happy to be with his father and adjusting quite well to all the new things he has seen that a Bedouin will never see. But I have no personal effects and no clue what happened to his mother." "Isn't there a way to find out?" "No, that would be way too dangerous. The Iranians now know what this tribe has done and I don't know how many survivors there are left or how to find them." "Don't you want to know?" "Not if the costs are too high, it's not worth that amount of risk." "It's your decision" "I don't want my son to lose his father as well just for the small chance of finding his mother, he always liked me better." "It makes sense, maybe sometime." "Yes, maybe"

"I'm a little tired of al this telling and remembering. Can we do something else now?" "Of course, what do you want?" "Nothing special, just relaxing and maybe doing some fun things" The next few days they took time to get to know each other as a family. Harm was happy to finally have a little sister he could spoil even though he already had a son of his own as well. They also visited a number of attractions and sight in the area so Ashley could get familiar with it and because Harm had missed a lot. Harm was happy that he could reconnect with his parents so well but he wasn't so sure about his friends, they were always all navy and there lives had continued on. He hoped he could fit back in again even tough it had been five years.

Ashley would stay with his grandparents while Harm went to DC for the welcome home party in his honor. He wanted to have a place to live and a job first before he took Ashley with him across the country. Of course he would visit so he wouldn't be gone for to long but this was a good start to let Ashley get adjusted to the fact that his father would have to work and not be home all the time. And it gave Ashley some time to get used to the western life and being in America before he would meet other people.

A/N: until next chapter and please do leave a review!


	5. welcome home

A/N: I'm sorry to keep you all waiting this long but with the hot weather and re-exams i just couldn't put my mind to it. Now i am full of ideas for stories but can't seem to write anything down because i want to much. So i have to say that this chapter was meant to be larger and i don't know when i have finished the next but at least i can say that i will finish this story even though it will take a while.

A/N2: It is now some time later and again i'am sorry for the massive delay but here is a larger version of this chapter and chapter five will be posted shortly.

Chapter 4 welcome home

The welcome home party would be at McMurpy's that evening and since Harm had no place to stay in the area AJ had invited him to stay at his place for as long as he wanted. He had planned to rent a car but AJ had persuaded him to do that later and that he would pick him up from the airport himself. It was a Saturday and Harm arrived at Dulles in the middle of the afternoon. And sure enough when he cleared customs AJ was waiting for him.

Harm felt a bit awkward at first but AJ seemed to sense his discomfort and tried to ease him into a conversation. "It's good to have you back, Harm. Everyone has been missing you." "Thank you, sir. But some people must have been glad to see me gone." "Some people don't care about anyone. It's the ones that stand by you when things get awry who are your real friends. And you don't have to call me sir when I'm out of uniform" "Yes, si.. AJ" AJ had to smile slightly at the slip up, some habits were hard to break. "Let's not stay here and get going, I have cold beer in the fridge that wants out." That produces a small snicker and definitely chased the awkwardness away. "Let's not keep it waiting then" Harm said and picked up his bag from where he had dropped it on the ground and followed AJ out to the car.

In the car on the way to McLean AJ asked Harm "What are you planning to do now that you are back home?" Harm took some time to think about that. "I'm not really sure about that yet. I always liked the navy but I don't know if I want to travel that much anymore, I can do without the trouble it causes." AJ knew that Harm always seemed to find trouble and didn't need to travel for that and also loved to be on board ships especially aircraft carriers. "You don't want to fly anymore?" A long silence followed. They arrived at AJ's home all Harm had to say before going inside was "I don't know yet." With that he probably considered this line of conservation finished. So they went inside and AJ got the cold beer out of the fridge and he and Harm just talked about little things and how life had been going those last five years.

That evening they went to McMurpy's early so that Harm could ease into the party and not meet everyone at once. Harm did have a certain amount of trepidation because he wasn't sure how his friends would react to him being back after being pronounced dead for five years. It probably would be awkward at first but he hoped to settle back in his friendships after this party.

The first ones to arrive where still Bud and Harriet like always. Harm and AJ had found a nice corner when they came in. Bud was the first one to speak "We couldn't believe it when they told us that you where still alive. But I 'am so glad you are back now, we really missed you. Little AJ really wanted to come too but this party will get too late for him" "I missed you guys too but wasn't much I could do about it, I will stop by your house tomorrow to see him if you want." "That would be great, sir, AJ would love to see you" "Please don't call me sir, we are friends and I don't feel very military at the moment." "Sorry, … Harm. But if you don't mind telling how did you make it out after the crash?" "I wouldn't have made it if I hadn't found those Bedouins. I only made it out of the aircraft after it crashed in the water, I was lucky to still be alive and it took everything I had left to get away before the Iranians came looking. The Bedouins patched me up and accepted me in their midst. They don't like Iranians and that is mutual so the Iranians never found out."

Then more people came in and they all wanted to talk to Harm of course so there wasn't time for an in depth conversation since every time some one new came in and wanted to speak to Harm as well. There were already a lot of people when Mac came in. She actually hadn't wanted to come to the party but she wanted to see Harm to confirm with her own eyes that she indeed had believed in the truth and that Harm was alive and well back in DC. Since Harm had so many people to talk to and a number of them didn't live in the neighborhood he didn't have much time to talk to Mac. He also didn't know what he was going to say to her so it was an easy excuse to put it off for a little while longer. They did embrace each other for a short moment to reconnect but didn't say much that evening, the presence already being enough to reassure them they were still friends. Harm stayed for a long time but eventually his exhaustion was to much to keep up with and he said his goodbyes to everyone and AJ drove them home where Harm immediately went to bed.

A/N: reviews are very much appreciated.


	6. restoring

On with the story!

Chapter 5 Restoring

The next day when Harm and AJ sat down for breakfast AJ decided to breech the subject of career plans again. "Has it become any clearer if you want to stay in the navy or not?" Harm knew that question would come so had given thought to it but still wasn't really sure. "It's more like re-entering then staying but I don't think I would like civilian live. I can always try that when I get my twenty and can retire." He only needed four more years to get his twenty so he thought that it would be stupid to quit now and miss a fully paid pension.

He figured that his five years with the Bedouins wouldn't count as service even though he officially was a member of the navy during that time. But AJ seemed to have other ideas, he didn't think Harm was the type to retire as soon as possible. "That's looking a bit far in the future, you still have a lot of years in you. But have you decided where you would want to be stationed if you could choose." AJ knew I was indeed a bit strange to ask but he could get a lot done and wanted Harm to have the best cards to get back on track with his career.

It took Harm a moment to think about it but didn't really know a good answer. "It's not really a choice is it. I get stationed where I am needed not necessarily were I want." But Harm figured out AJ wanted to help him and decided to lay all his card open. "If I could choose I want it to be a combination of law and aviation and then somewhere in the vicinity of DC. But there is one thing limiting my options which no one knows about."

That was news to AJ since he thought that except for the friends he had there was nothing that would keep Harm in one place and so was curious what did do that. "Sounds mysterious. You want to tell me what that limiting factor is?" AJ figured that if Harm told him that there was something he was also ready to tell him what it was. "As long as you keep it a secret for a little while longer, I want to tell everyone on my own time." Harm still seemed hesitant to tell but he needed AJ to know everything if he was to help him. "You know I can keep secrets, no one will find out from me if you decide to tell me."

Harm knew AJ was a man of his word and had already decided to tell him but didn't know what was the best way to tell. To say it bluntly would be the best. "I had made a home with the Bedouins. One of them came with me, my two year old son." That was a great surprise to AJ since he had never considered Harm to be a father even though he knew Harm would make a good one. "That's definitely something to consider while looking for a place to live. And now I know why you seem hesitant to travel much."

They continued breakfast in silence while AJ thought tings true and Harm just let his mind wander. When breakfast was finished and cleaned up Harm went to the living room to sit down and relax while AJ went to look some things up. When AJ came back he seemed to have found a solution. "There is a opening at Pax-river. You will get to fly and your legal skills are still useful as well. And most important you don't have to leave at a moments notice. This billet will suit you." That was something to think about but it sounded promising and Harm could always decide to request a transfer or go into the reserves if it wasn't what he was looking for.

Harm was deep in thought and on that moment there was a knock on the door. It was Mac, she wanted to speak to Harm since she hadn't had much chance to talk to him at the party. They went outside to talk, Mac had been the only one to never give up, she refused to believe that Harm was dead. She was also the one who got it done that the aircraft was recovered and it was then discovered that Harm likely wasn't killed in the crash. Although it wasn't sure that he survived the coming five years it appeared that Iranians hadn't known either so enough reason to start a covert search party which leaded to Harm's save return home.

Mac was the one to open the conversation "Didn't really get a chance to speak to you yesterday. There sure were a lot of people at the party." Harm had to smile at that explaining. "I don't just have friends at JAG you know. I have a lot of flying buddies and other acquaintances who wanted to talk to me. You have the opportunity to talk to me now." Mac understood that, a lot of those people came a long way just to talk to him so it was reasonable that he want to talk to them first leaving the people he could see everyday for later. "That's true. I know I said this already yesterday but I am really glad you're home." The sentiment was clearly readable on Mac's face and Harm felt exactly the same way. He made a life for himself with the Bedouins to be honest it wasn't his life. "So am I, it is good to know I have still so many friends. Makes starting over again easier." "Everyone will be happy to have you back at JAG I'm sure. I would like that as well." Mac noticed that Harm's reaction wasn't was she thought it would be and his reaction made her doubt grew. "Ehm…"

She had to know where they stood. If she was going to loose him again she didn't know if she could handle it. "You are coming back to JAG aren't you?" It was a simple question but with so much emotion. Harm knew it was important to her how he would react and carefully formulated his response but he didn't plan to go back to JAG. "No, I'm not. The admiral got me a job at Pax River. It will give me a fresh start." He would still be in the neighborhood Mac was happy for that but it was at an airstrip and flying brought him often in danger. "You are going back to flying again?" Harm had to elaborate to calm her down, it wasn't as if he would be a full time pilot, he would have more time then with JAG yes but it wasn't his daily job. "Not entirely, it will be a mix between flying, management and the law. It sounds pretty good and it will keep me near DC for most of the time."

Mac was surprised by this she liked that he would be home more but thought that he always liked to travel to all places of the world and on carriers. "You don't want to go out to carriers anymore?" Harm had to smile at that, Mac still knew him well. "I still do that but just not at a moments notice and not that frequent as sometimes was the case at JAG. Let the junior officers do the travel for a change." That even confused Mac more, was there something he was not telling her? "I thought you liked travelling?" Harm knew Mac was confused but didn't want to let his secret out yet and there was no other way to explain so he tried to go around it and make a start with his other plan. "I still do, but not in such a fast pace anymore. Maybe it is time to settle down." _'Lets see if she picks up on that.'_ "Are you sure about that?" _'She is not sure she understands me correctly' _"I think I am, I'm over forty I could be the father of some of the men I serve with."

'_What is he hinting at?'_ "I don't want you to feel pressured but have you given thought to were you would want to live and with who you want to settle down with?" _'she is getting closer'_ "Actually I have but I don't want to take it to fast" ´_Has he met someone else?'_ "Do I know her?" ´_She has to figure it out by her self I'm not telling yet'_ "You are not letting this go are you?" '_if I push him to far he will never tell me'_ "Only if you want me too." '_Let's see how it goes the next few weeks'_

"I will let you know soon, I promise you that. But first I want us to have that friendship back we had." '_I'm not going to get anymore out of him today take your winnings before you lose'_ "Okay, I will take what I can. Just take your time, I can wait." '_she accepts, good'_ "I promised Bud I'd see AJ today. And I haven't met Jimmy and the twins yet. Want to join me for lunch and shopping" '_End of conversation apparently'_ "Sure, he would love to see you. And I always love shopping, and lunch of course"

A/N: I really like revieuws!!


	7. fitting back in

_A/N: I'm sorry it took me so long to post a new chapter. A combination of to much studying and writers block withold me from posting sooner._

_The story will probably have two more chapters, don't know when i will post them, sorry. But hopefully sooner then this one._

_On with the story!!_

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**Chapter six: Fitting back in**

That afternoon Harm had promised to visit the Roberts. He was actually looking forward to seeing little AJ again. He also was Jimmy's godfather but he didn't know if the boy would recognize him because he was still too young when Harm disappeared.

Harm had lend a car and had gone shopping after lunch. When Harm rang the doorbell he heard an very excited AJ. "Uncle Harm, you're back" He had left the presents in the car for the moment so he didn't drop them when AJ jumped at him. "Yes I am little man, and I won't be going away for long anytime soon." "So you're coming visit us more?" "I will, let me greet your parents now all right" Putting AJ back on the ground he greeted Bud and Harriet and then Jimmy who seemed less sure of him self. Jimmy had seen pictures of Harm and AJ had told him lots but he didn't remember himself obviously since he was still a baby at the time. "Are you Uncle Harm? AJ told me lots about you and has lots of pictures." Harm had to smile at that, AJ had always idolized him. "Yes, I am. And I am looking forward to getting to know you better as well"

They then went to the living room where AJ and Jimmy quickly drew Harm into a game they were playing. He saw that they still had the model train he had given AJ before his return to flight status. And there were also a lot of airplanes and cars in fact it was almost an whole city that was build in the play room. An hour later they heard over the baby monitor that the twins had woken up. Harm hadn't seen them yet but the boys were reluctant to let him go. "Baby's are boring all they do is cry and make a mess." Harm knew what he meant, the first born always had a tendency to feel neglected when a new baby was born because he had his parents for him self before. "But when they grow up you have another playmate someone who will look up to you because you are the big brother." AJ and Jimmy still wouldn't buy into that but Harm had a bargain. "If you stay here and play quietly then I come back later and we can get your presents out of the car, how does that sound?" "you got us presents?" "Lots of them but first I want you to play quietly without me for a while." "Okay" AJ agreed he always liked presents and to have one from his Uncle Harm was always special in his eyes.

Harm found Bud in the living room feeding Michael a bottle. Bud acknowledge him by saying "Harm. Let me introduce you to Michael Jay Roberts." "He is gorgeous Bud, he looks just like you." "You really think that?" "Yes, look at AJ he really looks more like Harriet in features if though he is a boy. Jimmy is more of a mix but little Mickey here looks just like you." "Thank you, sir." "So where is the other heartbreaker?" "upstairs, Harriet is nursing her now, when they wake up at the same time I feed one of them a bottle." "Does Nikki look more like Harriet or you?" "I think she looks more like Harriet sir, Harriet's mother was gushing all over her claiming she looked exactly like her. But maybe that was just because she finally got a granddaughter." "You don't like her very much, do you?" "She is so chatty and bossy it's annoying, she likes you though." Bud said grinning. "Yah, I'm the man Harriet should have married" Harm chuckled. "She really did say that, didn't she?" "Don't take it personally Bud, if she is the only one thinking it what does it matter?" "Have you ever thought about it sir?" "about what?" "dating Harriet?" Harm had to chuckle about that, it sounded strange to even think about it but he needed to give a honest answer. "I can't see i haven't thought about it but we wouldn't have fitted together. And you two were the perfect match."

They talked for a few more minutes until Harriet came down with Nikki. "Harm, this is Nikki Alexa Roberts." "Well look at you little heartbreaker, mommy's little girl." "Sure she is, we have to stick together with all these boys in the house." grinned Harriet. "I think AJ will be a very good big brother and chase all the other boys away." Harm grinned, this caused Bud to laugh too.

"I wonder why the boys are playing so quietly today?" Harriet suddenly noted. "that would be my fault" Harm said "i promised them presents if they played quietly for a while." "that could be the explanation" Bud said "but it won't last very most longer I'm afraid" "you're probably right, I should go get the presents then." Harm walked to the other room and said "who wants to help me empty the trunk of my car?" Of course AJ and Jimmy immediately jumped up knowing what would be in the trunk. There were four bags so AJ and Jimmy each took one and Harm the remaining two. At the sight of the large pile of presents in their living room Bud and Harriet had to blink twice, Harm just smiled at them. "I have a lot of time to make up for and it is not like I don't have the money for it."

AJ and Jimmy were already looking for presents that had there name on it and with an affirmative nod of their parent they tore in to them. Harm picked up a small bag and gave the contents to Bud and Harriet "these are presents for the twins." Harm stayed with the Roberts until after supper and then went back to the admirals home for a quit evening and a good nights sleep. The next day Harm went house hunting, he wanted a nice house in a neighbourhood were Ashley would have the space to play outside.

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A/N: Thank you for reading and sticking with me. Please please give some reviews i like reading them and they always give me new ideas even if there are only a few words. Thank you!!_


	8. epilogue

**Epilogue**

_One month later_

After the weekend of the homecoming party Harm had gone home to his parents for a week before starting on his new job. He hadn't wanted to leave Ashley alone for to long, the boy was still getting used to live in the US and needed to have his father around for some stability. Harm wasn't sure how his friends would react if they found out he had a son but didn't want to lead two separate lives so he had to tell them. Especially Mac if he wanted to regain some friendship and have the hope of more someday.

Harm liked his new job, he got a chance to fly from time to time while still having a desk job that got him home at decent hours each night. He had found a house not to far from Pax River and in a nice neighbourhood with more children. At first Harm was a bit anxious to leave Ashley at the neighbourhoods day care but he needn't have worried. Ashley had soon made friends with the neighbours son Karim who was only a couple months older, the transition was even made easier since Karim spoke Farsi as well his mother being from Iraqi descent.

Harm still did some work for JAG, he didn't have to leave town at a moments notice but was still called upon from time to time. His experience made things go more smoothly and it made it easier to visit his friends from JAG. Pax river wasn't that far away from DC but it wasn't around the corner either. Every morning Harm brought Ashley to day care and had a standing play date with Karim afterwards so that Harm only had to go to his neighbours to collect him. And once a week Ashley would stay over so Harm could visit with his friends in DC a while longer.

Harms new house not being in close vicinity meant that his friends from JAG hadn't been there yet. He usually spent one day a week at JAG and it made him still feel like a part of the 'family'. He had yet to tell any of them about his son but he didn't know how to bring it.

A opportunity came up the next week when the admiral invited him to the JAG picnic. At this picnic the entire JAG staff would be in civvies and a lot of children would be there too, the perfect time to introduce Ashley into the JAG family. The picnic would be in the next weekend giving Harm ten days to think of what he was going to say.

At the day of the picnic Harm arrived in about the middle so he wouldn't be noticed too much. Since Jimmy wasn't very much older and was participating in a sort of soccer game with AJ and a few other young kids and parents Harm decided to join them. This is were Mac found him and was later joined by the admiral. Bud and Harriet were also watching there kids play when the game finished Ashley ran back to Harm proud of his 'victory' and wanting to be picked up. Harm hadn't been able to come up with a way tell everyone about his son and decide to use the opportunity to do just that. There was no hiding anyway since Ashley had called him daddy in front of most of his friends who were watching the game.

Sitting on a picnic table Harm explained how it happened that he had a son and that is was a reason for change of job. Ashley went off to play with Jimmy who seemed to become friends and left the adults to eat. After some awkward silence Harm and Mac finally had a good talk and they settled their differences. They would take it slowly but having acknowledged their feelings they hoped to avoid the awkwardness.

_Five years later_

Today it was Ashley's eight birthday party. A lot had changed in five years, they had moved back to San Diego and had started a real family. Harm and Mac had married and had a two year old daughter, Shannon. Mac was now the head of joint legal services in San Diego while Harm was in command of the Top Gun flight school at Miramar_(A/N: I know it was moved to Fallon but not in this story)_. Bud was now Mac's chief of staff and the Roberts family had moved to San Diego also, Bud and Harriet were also Shannon's godparents.

A/N: Thank you for staying with me, real life can be demanding sometimes. I hope you enjoyed the story and give me plenty of feedback so i can make my next story even better.


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